@brendohare: I wear a 3-piece suit to bed in case someone breaks in & we have nothing to talk about. "Did you notice I'm wearing a suit?" "Yes"
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@alfageeek: Fun fact: if you say “I did the math,” nobody argues with you because they don't want to have to redo the math themselves.
@OnlyFastEddie: I get really freakin pissed off when complete strangers ask me a lot of questions. So no... the job interview didn't go very well.
@illTortuga: "Welcome to Panda Express" "I'd like one panda" "Sorry we don't sell pand-" *slips cashier $100* "Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes"