@MikeyHill_: I wear a cape because I'm Super Broke
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@jake_likes_naps: [Ouija board] "Hey spirits, talk to us" W H A T S U R F R I E N D S N A M E H E S C U T E "fml"
@Home_Halfway: I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your "scary" battle at Normandy, grandpa.
@Mikecanrant: When I take pictures of cheese I yell "SAY HUMANS!" and me and the cheese laugh and laugh and then I binge eat and cry.