@xLiserx: I wear a French maid's outfit specifically to get OUT of doing housework.
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@Bad_Ass_Trucker: Me: Did you hear that? Her: Go check it out Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first Her: You'll be alright
@billmaher: New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can't do?
@shawnspree: Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you.
@ThisOneSayz: *opens door* Stop screaming! *opens door* What broke?! *opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! ~parenting from the bathroom