@xLiserx: I wear a French maid's outfit specifically to get OUT of doing housework.
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@ericsshadow: ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.
@Iwriteforcats: Son: Dad, you work so hard and never get any credit. You're like a superhero! Dad: Nice try. You're still not getting the Internet password.
@MikeOdenthal: Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm.