@xLiserx: I wear a French maid's outfit specifically to get OUT of doing housework.
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@robfee: There’s no way the Ninja Turtles would have those ripped abs. You can’t do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me I’ve tried.
@Nickadoo: When a friend dies, I'm not sure if I should unfriend them on Facebook or occasionally "poke" them to see if they're still dead.
@murrman5: *opens fortune cookie* there's rice on your face *grabs wifes and opens it* still there *grabs one from next table* I can do this all night