@thepunningman: I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
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@RexRizzo: Wired: "Machine learning will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Amazon: "We see you bought a wallet. Would you like to buy ANOTHER WALLET?"
@AClkwrkStarfish: The boy is putting whipped cream on the cat. I think he may have overheard a conversation he didn't understand quite so well.
@ilovepie84: I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match
@webofevil: Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word "wifi" rather than "le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils" or some shit.