@Fenyris: I wear dresses to work so it takes me less time to use the loo so people won't think I'm pooping. So yeah, I'd say I'm pretty professional.
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@louisvirtel: I was worried that Tim Kaine was too boring and then I remembered entertainment is what got us into this mess.
@Home_Halfway: The proper way to make a Caesar salad is to repeatedly stab it with dozens of other people in a Senate building.
@adam_bloomquist: If I was a girl named Isis, I'd be pissed that half the people decided to change my name to Isil.
@ForeverHairy: Me: Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms? Kids: WE DO! YAY!