@Wuttercuerk: I wear Lacoste shirts with the little crocodile on them because when shit goes down I want crocodiles to know that I'm on their side.
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@Tmoney68: I'll never understand women. A species that loathes you for asking their age, but tortures you forever if you forget their birthday.
@BoogTweets: Me: You know that prank where you put dog poop in a bag and set the persons house on fire? Her: You mean set the bag on fire Me: [sirens]