@ahoytheboat: i wear my ninja turtles costume on all of my first dates just to weed out the weirdos.
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@GrowlyGrego: My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning.
@toriTBC: When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.