@josh___grant: I wear my tattoos on the inside. Ever since having discount back surgery from a guy named "Spider."
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@nocturnallyme: I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan.
@AlexvanBeek: Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning.
@electrolemon: i wanna see the masterchef jr deleted scenes that HAVE to exist of gordon ramsay calling a kid the c-word for trying to julienne a snickers
@DPRK_News: "Halloween" is barbaric US ritual in which children earn candies by preying on the superstitions and fears of ignorant peasants.