@salmarch79: I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jaybberwocky: Had day surgery - came out with about fifteen less followers than when I went in with. So apparently I'm offensive even when unconscious.
@RealSamHarwood: A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, "no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis"
@TheToddWilliams: "Your new girlfriend seems a bit, I don't know...bookish?" She has a name you know! "What is it?" ...Paige.