@salmarch79: I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
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@ARealTinderella: Whenever I tinker with the idea of a having a relationship, I go spend a night with my married friends.
@cuppajosh: With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I'm not allowed at the company family picnic any more!
@SortaSarcastic: Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ...