@NateMorrising: I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery.
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@Sickayduh: [England 1320] "Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows." *waits 6 months* "K"
@msdanifernandez: Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
@mikefossey: (I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)