@NateMorrising: I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery.
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@3sunzzz: 5: Can you cut off the skin? Me: What? 5: *holds up sandwich* the skin M: The crust? 5: yeah M: No, and you sound like a serial killer.
@Ristolable: Did you see that? That's the third time she came over here. I think she likes me. "This is Applebee's and she is our waitress"
@causticbob: An Italian engineer was kidnapped in Nigeria. Demands were sent via email to his family, but they just got deleted as spam.