@FlyJ_: I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work.
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@thomaswhitehead: London is like the best era of Batman at the moment. Well-orchestrated mild commuter panic and Prince stalking the streets.
@BreadFoster: Don't say "lets get weird" on our date then get freaked out I'm dressed in Forever 21 and holding your cousin hostage.
@vapidaccount: ProTip: Make sure heated seats are off before putting your purse on them...lipstick melts.
@Diversion50: "Get Well Soon" is a lovely thing to write on a card for someone whose home is without a water supply.