@FlyJ_: I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work.
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@sammyrhodes: Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free.
@crunchenhancer: I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween.
@trentistweeting: ME: [at a party] hey! wanna come back to my place and- GIRL: hook up? sure! ME: [sadly putting away two Yu-Gi-Oh! decks] oh. awesome
@MrSandeepP: Truthful Tuesday: If a rapper raps about how much money he has then I download his music for free.