@2tickytacky: I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DamienFahey: The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number.
@volks__: Doctor: Any cancer in the family? Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I'll have to check on everyone else. Doc: ...
@Sorrowscopes: Gemini: You may find yourself wondering if you're dreaming or not. A simple test is to punch a cop in the face.
@pdxjohnny99: This tweet has been brought to you by... ...Stay Free Maxi-pads... ...When your uterine lining looks like the elevator from The Shining.