@_TeaChap: I went on a date last night!nIt went really well...up until the moment the couple realized I was following them & promptly called the cops.
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@SissiSay: Im gonna tell my daughter to lay off the liquor, cause I love her! (...and I dont want her to mess up her kidneys before I need one)
@SortaBad: My neighbors hurt some bystanders by illegally setting off fireworks. If only there had been a good guy with fireworks around to stop them
@sarcasticmommy4: My kids have strategically placed items in an overflowing garbage can like they're building a Jenga puzzle. Have kids. It's fun.
@rachelle_mandik: BOSS: It's come to my attention that you've disabled attachments for emails. You have to fix that. BUDDHA: But attachments cause suffering.