@_TeaChap: I went on a date last night!nIt went really well...up until the moment the couple realized I was following them & promptly called the cops.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LizHackett: I would be okay with a ghost in the house if every time a bathroom mirror fogged up with steam, it slowly wrote out "DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT?"
@TurnpikeTony: I really don't get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she's at least 18.
@sugarboyfly: Listen guys, if a 5yo comes up to you and asks if it's true that zombies won't eat kids who eat their broccoli, BACK ME UP, DAMN IT.
@Kyle_Lippert: [A bengals fan watching Titanic] I can't wait until the end when Jack and Rose get married