@hunz74: I went to a AAA meeting today and a guy celebrated 21 years. That is some responsible vehicle ownership.
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@Slim_is_Fat: (Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership? Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with
@zachraffio: - Adele's baby starts to cry - Adele sings the baby a lullaby - baby cries more, but now for different reasons
@belleykell: It takes me roughly 7 secs into an episode of House Hunters to discover that my pure hatred of strangers still exists