@hunz74: I went to a AAA meeting today and a guy celebrated 21 years. That is some responsible vehicle ownership.
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@DoreyZoe: My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants
@DirtMcTurd: I just did my own taxes for the first time and I'm glad I did because I'm getting 8 million dollars back this year!
@HeyZeus666: At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.
@PopSlapFunk: 5: "Dad, to be the man of the house, you need to wear pants." Me: ... 5: ... Me: "It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Job's all yours."