@causticbob: I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
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@brennadine: Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: My mom (seriously) asked if my friend's brother "still had down syndrome." No mother, he walked it off.
@Brianhopecomedy: On my 5 year old's report card it said, "He is encouraged to ask more questions". ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
@thejessbess: Got kicked outta Starbucks for trying to order a venti mocha choca latta ya-ya creole lady marmalaaaaaaaaade.