@bearloverbobby: I went to AT&T and asked for a sim card. They told me I had to call them to activate it. See the problem...
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@AndyRichter: In all honesty, my new dating service, "Well You're Not So Great Yourself" hasn't really taken off like I'd hoped.
@briangaar: ELMO WANT BIG HUG!!! ELMO WANT KIDS TO KNOW THAT JET FUEL COULDN'T POSSIBLY MELT STRUCTURAL STEEL
@Sarcasticsapien: Most Trump supporters favorite Disney character is the hunter who shot Bambi's mom and we all know it.
@spikeWilton67: Me: I want to kiss you everywhere! Her: You mean New York, Paris & London? Me: Um, ya that's what I meant.