@bearloverbobby: I went to AT&T and asked for a sim card. They told me I had to call them to activate it. See the problem...
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@RidiculousSheri: Thou shalt not winky face smiley another man's twitter crush. -Emojenesis 8:15
@weinerdog4life: I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car.
@oxygenplug: [commercial for college] *person shoveling money into furnace* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better way?