@bearloverbobby: I went to AT&T and asked for a sim card. They told me I had to call them to activate it. See the problem...
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@vapidaccount: ProTip: Make sure heated seats are off before putting your purse on them...lipstick melts.
@dyldonot: "omg you're covered in blood! are you ok?" [cut to me blending a tomato but I cant get the lid on properly] you should see the other guy
@wickedsuga: Him: I just want a stable relationship. Me: Yeah, horses are cool. Him: ........ Flirting is hard, you guys.
@nbadag: TURTLE: hey, you carry your house around too! HERMIT CRAB: i do. where'd you find yours? T: i was born with it HC: *scoff* ok princess