@bearloverbobby: I went to AT&T and asked for a sim card. They told me I had to call them to activate it. See the problem...
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@Try2StopME: Doctors would be pretty cool superheroes except for the fact their weakness is apples.
@Breadery: My daughter: I know everything Me: What's the capital of brazil? My daughter: that's a secret
@omerwahaj: Year 2142: Meat eaters have died out. Vegans survive. 2143: Everyone is dead b/c the vegans couldn't tell anyone else that they were vegan.
@jackiembouvier: I bought a bathing suit yesterday and the automated voice said "unexpected item in bagging area".