@shegotagronk: I went to church today just to thank God I'm not Miley Cyrus.
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@natkaotic: Those of you who believe everything you read on the internet probably also believe there's hot local singles in your area.
@thebeckyard: Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth.
@chemical_scum: One man has two TCs, an ex with a troll account & a girlfriend who knows his passcode. How long does this man have to live? Show your work.
@EndhooS: Ostrich: OMG SOMEONE KILLED MY DAD PLS HELP HE'S BEEN DECAPI- ...wait 911: *sigh* did he have - Ostrich: he had his head in the sand again