@birbigs: I went to confession and the priest said, "pics or it didn't happen."
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@dire_beard: [At a child's birthday party, holding a poorly taxidermied possum] I heard someone likes stuffed animals!
@UncleBob56: Me: Push! Grandkids: But, you're heavy. Me: What did the sign say? Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :(( Me: Rules are rules.
@markydoodoo: Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.