@jjhartinger: I went to the Gym and the power went out. I whispered, "thank you baby jesus" and left.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CarelWillemse: Uber driver: "I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh I see you" Uber Driver: "Are you the guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah floor it"
@Book_Krazy: *Breaks glass to steal Mona Lisa* You crazy? Security will hear us Security: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE? NOTHING Security: ALRIGHT
@FuckabillyRex: I get hit with a lot of folding chairs for someone that's not a professional wrestler.
@fro_vo: "Hey Cyclops are you still dating Jean?" "No Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..." *lowers sunglasses* *eye beams obliterate Storm*