@david8hughes: I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@topaz_kell: [job interview] Interviewer: "Do you have any questions for me?" Me: "How strong is the wifi signal in the restroom?" Interviewer:
@cray_at_home_ma: Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means? Me: We have to be quick! *Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*
@bobvulfov: DEODORANT: ugh i hate my job, gotta go in his gross armpit all the time TOILET PAPER: bro