@freedom2726: I whispered to the wind, and the wind told me to shut up.
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@sixfootcandy: (first date) Me: *hyperventilating* Him: Don't be nervous. Take a deep breath. Me: Can't. I'm wearing three pairs of Spanx.
@mayamanion: My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week
@SukaSycho420: So we need to go over your drug history... Let me stop you there. It's gonna be quicker if I just tell you the ones's I haven't done.