@freedom2726: I whispered to the wind, and the wind told me to shut up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: [me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party] me: "how did we both fit in this lmao"
@dadamantium: 4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, "Come here, Turkeys!" I might be raising Elmer Fudd.
@_NinJar: [Dr.] "Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* "Don't do it" *eats cheese* *dies*