@lovemydogduck: I will be tweeting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
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@AnOrangeSNES: [1st Date] (Okay, don't let her know you're addicted to eating fruit) Me: This is good [2nd Date] [3rd Date] [4th Date] [5th Date] Her: Stop
@_Ms_Moneypenny_: Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :(
@goolicker: There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer.