@IndigoCheese: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FIND YOU and cuddle you softly.
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@murrman5: [in car with wife] "did you take $20 from my purse?" *sips $3 coffee* no *gets rear ended and $17 worth of sour candy falls out of glovebox*
@TheMichaelRock: Hey guy driving the speed limit with your hands at 10 & 2, can I have some of that weed you're transporting?
@batkaren: I'm on the steak diet. You just have four steaks for breakfast, four for lunch, then a sensible dinner of six steaks.