@form52: I will marry a woman if she knows homer is Not a Simpson and Plato is Not clay
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@ItsAndyRyan: The English language lacks a word to mean "To make a spouse feel uncomfortable by aggressively cleaning the house around them".
@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: Why don't we ever have sex anymore? Me: What's this "we" shit? I'm having plenty.
@phaggots: "911, please help im dying" Good cop: help is on the way Bad cop: just suck it up and be a man Dad cop: hi dying, im dad
@Monicann86: I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation of having your dad pick up the landline phone and start dialing while you're talking on it