@envydatropic: I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VanGobot: *captain over the PA*: and if you look out your window to the left, you'll see Jerry, who is no longer my best friend, and deserves this.
@DaddyJew: Plumber: why are there nachos in your shower drain? Me: why wouldn't there be nachos in my shower drain?
@david8hughes: [fancy restaurant] Me: do you have orange cat food? Wife [whispers to waiter]: he means lasagna
@jonnysun: to cause mass hysteria at a wedding, slowley turn the volum down when the "shout" song says "a litle bit louder now, a litle bit louder now"