@Midgetspar: I will NEVER make the same mistake twice ... In a row. They're in rotation.
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@CloydRivers: If you plant a block of ramen noodles in the ground and water it with cold ones every day, it will grow into a college kid. It's science.
@hiitsgabrielle: Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout.
@JohnHilsen: There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.
@sug_knight: In hell u have to go hot tubbing with all the people who show up in the "people you may know" section of facebook