@drunkNnaughty: I will never miss you, because I'm a really good shooter.
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@Manali_Shetye5: Me: I have to lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise everyday. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet, eat healthy and hit the gym. Me: Is that cake?
@notacroc: [getting my license] Me: *points at gas gauge* the car just ate so we have to wait 30 minutes Instructor: *unclicks seatbelt*
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: *reclines* Nice Wife: I still can't believe you bought a used gynecological exam table Me: I can see the tv perfectly between my legs