@drunkNnaughty: I will never miss you, because I'm a really good shooter.
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@david8hughes: [boxing match] Commentator: Silva is in the red shorts with green, white & yellow trim Me: the black guy. Just say Silva is the black guy
@Cyd10e: There are some people who when they hit rock bottom, they refuse to just lie there... They just pick up a shovel and started digging.
@truegritrumble: HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls.
@DanMentos: My Shakespeare brings all the boys to the yard And they're like We're gonna kick your ass fancy boy