@DesiJedeikin: I will never stop laughing at this
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@aka_fatman: "I finally caught up with my son." "That's good. Progress. How did it go?" "Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him." - Vader & therapist
@tylerschmall: England's gonna have a rude awakening when they go to war and all their knights are actors and musicians.
@Marlebean: I don't mean to sound racist, but why do all Chinese food takeout boxes look the same?
@shadonium: What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner? Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!