@adamhess1: I will never tire of sending random messages like this to random numbers
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@CulturedRuffian: Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'
@jjhartinger: If a 4-year-old says, "I'm scared there's a monster living under my bed" Don't reply, "Oh, that's where he's been hiding." I know that now.
@onume_: Son: Dad I'm in love with a girl just like mum. Father: So what do you want from me? Sympathy?
@brunopieroni: Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now.