@adamhess1: I will never tire of sending random messages like this to random numbers
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@othersome: I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs.
@PersianCeltic: Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
@Douchekevin: She blindfolded me and said she was going to put heaven on my lips. I asked what kind of pizza it was. I woke up outside with a concussion
@Parkerlawyer: Hubs, "What are we doing tonight?" Me, "As long as I'm with you I'm happy." ~Watches him watch ESPN on his phone~ Me, "I want a divorce."