@dril: i will not close my account until the sport of golf is rightfully named "golfball" like the other ball sports
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@sirmunchie: Someday, my kids will say "daddy, wanna hear a cool story" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story.
@ipalatsky: ok children, just to recap today's lesson, let's now repeat all the words you are not supposed to say.
@Quartzjixler: I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars.
@BoogTweets: Dad: People overcome adversity all the time. Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen? Me: *never blinks again*