@McSwtrvst: I will raise my son to treat your daughters like spoiled princesses, but only if you don't raise your daughters to think they are. Deal?
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@theshamingofjay: No thanks World Cup, if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys unsuccessfully try to score I'll just stay on Twitter.
@mrjohndarby: [buys new refrigerator with water dispenser] day 1: I will never tire of this water dispenser day 15: still luvin' this water dispenser day 4563: wahey! water dispenser