@jessokfine: I wipe my counters with raw chicken breasts because I refuse to have weak children.
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@DougStanhope: 16 year olds can vote in Scotland. That's ok because they've been drinking since they were 9 and understand disillusionment.
@coolidiot2000: [doctors exam] "I'm feeling a lump here. Here's another. You have several lumps." -uh oh, what does that mean doc? "it means you're fat"