@jessokfine: I wipe my counters with raw chicken breasts because I refuse to have weak children.
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@jrza84: HI I'M GOING TO HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLY LOUD YET PRIVATE PHONE CALL ON THIS BUS AND EXHIBIT A STUNNING LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS. THANK YOU.
@jergarl: In my defense, my response to her inquiry as to how my day was going was "I'm less stabby than normal" not "Please tell me about your cat."
@juliussharpe: Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.