@jessokfine: I wipe my counters with raw chicken breasts because I refuse to have weak children.
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@kelkulus: What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!
@HeroineAddict: Tried this new Playlist in the car, on the treadmill, at my desk, but it seems the best place for me to listen to old Greenday is 1992.
@aspiringtoucan: god: call them deer angel: ok. what do they look like god: eh pretty normal angel: ok god: [suddenly] put a tree on its face
@rockymomax: [prison] CELLMATE: what are you in for? ME: (actually in jail for jumping a fence to hug a panda) murder