@myonlymizztake: I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AndyRichter: Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche
@thelaurenobrien: Sometimes when I'm in the shower I'll hear a strange noise and start singing EXTRA good in case the intruder has some connections.
@JillBidenVeep: Joe: Just met with Secret Service Barack: Oh yea? Joe: I got them to agree to call Trump "David S. Pumpkins"