@myonlymizztake: I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship.
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@PinkCamoTO: *interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it's a small place, but you won't even know I'm here.
@HatfieldAnne: Googles “what happens if you accidentally eat raw cookie dough” [5 minutes later] “twice”
@AsgardianRose: Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?