@myonlymizztake: I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship.
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@Twtercide: 911: What is your emergency? Me: Fire 911: Riley, is that you? Me:.... 911: Listen carefully, that firefighter asked to be transferred.
@whereami18: My 12 wakes up, showers, changes into another pair of PJ's and starts playing PS4. He has no idea how jealous I am.