@OhNoSheTwitnt: I wish airlines would stop calling it your "final destination" have they not seen those movies?
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@iAmDelFreaky: Me: Here you go. Her: WTF? Me: It's the genital mold you wanted. Her: I said gelatin mold! Me: *waddles away with pants around ankles*
@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
@ValeeGrrl: My son just explained how he wants to make a necklace out of my hair which is totally normal & doesn't at all concern & terrify me.
@LoveNLunchmeat: [Grand Canyon] *His screams echo as he falls to his death* OMG THE ACOUSTICS ARE AMAZING HERE! HOW IS THIS NOT A CONCERT VENUE?