@OhNoSheTwitnt: I wish airlines would stop calling it your "final destination" have they not seen those movies?
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@Mikecanrant: I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things I think people need to know, NASA.
@MarfSalvador: Homeless man: Spare some change for a cup of coffee? Me: *Bends down to eye level* You don't look anything like a cup of coffee
@Brianhopecomedy: Ugh, I may have lost my "World's Best Dad" keychain. My 2 year old was playing with it an hour ago but I don't know where she went.
@Bob_Janke: I don't know what upsets me more, the fact that that guy stole my tweet or that he only got 2 retweets off of it