@__candypants: I wish all my younger siblings would appreciate how low I set the bar for them.
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@thefurlinator: will somebody tell my friend its spelled "gif" not "gf" and its not special that he has one, i have like 400 on my computer
@BobTheSuit: CIA: So what did you call that new tracking software we put on everyone's iPhone? NSA: "U2's New Album"
@causticbob: My grandfather was a boxer in the British Army. Which was completely unfair because the enemy had rifles.
@lazerdoov: Home Depot is having their "ultimate tool event" in case anyone wants to buy my cousin Tyler.