@__candypants: I wish all my younger siblings would appreciate how low I set the bar for them.
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@msbtx: Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct
@HomeProbably: This strange woman won't stop talking to me so I'm going to stare at her eyebrows until she gets paranoid and leaves me alone.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Liam Neeson: What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Me if I were the kidnapper: *is.
@ilovepie84: If you see a hot girl walking you should honk your horn to let her know you're intrested and afraid to talk to girls.