@JennyJohnsonHi5: I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang
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@ShaneKnowsStuff: I don't know about you, but I always watch my garage door go all the way down in case a murderer tries to roll in at the last minute.
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: The test results came back. PATIENT: Oh God DR DOG: The tumor is-- *sees a squirrel out the window and takes off*
@PinkCamoTO: I think the elementary school music teacher was overly optimistic when she said we may recognize this next song.
@KeetPotato: leonardo dicaprio would have won 8 oscars by now if he was named after one of the cooler turtles