@JennyJohnsonHi5: I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang
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@pan_opt_icon: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: Besides that.
@BoscoPorter: Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of shit?"
@QwertyJones3: Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I'll have to turn to Facebook.