@juliussharpe: I wish Bond movies gave a more realistic view of his jet lag and traveler's diarrhea.
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@SaraMansford: Things I use my car for, from most to least: 1)Tweeting while parked 2)Snacking 3)Transporting bugs that can fly but are lazy 4)Driving
@AimeeHelene1: *picks out all the marshmallows from your Lucky Charms* *replaces them with Flintstones vitamins* You looked a little sickly.
@RealSugarFree: So far at work I've straightened a paper clip then tried bending it back to its original shape. Employee of the month right here.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 1-year-old found a jar of Play-Doh. I figured she couldn't do any harm if she couldn't open it. She threw it at her sister's head.