@tomipuff: I wish cartoons would have prepared me for working and doing taxes instead of, like, quicksand
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@WheelTod: Anytime I go to the doctors I feel so ripped off. Whatever my complaint is, it's always the same damn advice: "Lay off the methamphetamine."
@SaraMansford: If a guy tells you he makes 6 figures a year it doesn't necessarily mean he's rich. He could be a really lazy guy working at a toy factory.
@_mcgoof: Pizza places should give away free pizza car air-freshners. Within 5seconds of sitting in your car, you WILL crave pizza.