@tomipuff: I wish cartoons would have prepared me for working and doing taxes instead of, like, quicksand
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@clevinniej: Wife: ok, you have free reign to decide on all household decisions today... Me: *too shocked to move or decide anything...*
@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.