@tomipuff: I wish cartoons would have prepared me for working and doing taxes instead of, like, quicksand
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@TodaysResume: During your interview, try ending every sentence with "dot jpg". "How would you say you handle job pressure?" --Not a problem.jpg
@professor_eks: If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides.
@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going
@david8hughes: Therapist: today we're going to do an exercise Me [shifts nervously in seat]: oh, I-uh Therapist: calm down, fatty. Not actual exercise