@Thee_Mikey_B: I wish chlamydia was as hard to get as it is to spell.
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@theblowout: my interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason i drink wasn't there
@T_Bonezzz: SURVIVAL TIP If a gummy bear is chasing you, curl up like a ball and pretend you're stoned
@Mr_Kapowski: Hispanic magician: "I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres
@Doublelife64: Me to 4 yr old niece: your shoes are on the wrong feet Niece looks down and says: I don't have any other feet Outsmarted again.