@ImKevinito: I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt.
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@KevinHart4real: Nothing worse than talking to a person with a large amount of spit in their mouth that talks really fast. HOLY SHIT...My glasses r ruined
@freezingsheep: If I hear a bang when I'm driving I just assume I broke the sound barrier. Not sure where all these dents are coming from though.
@byrdie_num_num: It's now politically correct to award kids trophies for last place. On a related note, 'trophy wife' has become rather ambiguous.