@clarkekant: I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It’s really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!
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@UncleDuke1969: Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once.
@JohnHilsen: The Passion of the Christ 2: Jesus in Space He conquered the sins of the world, but can he conquer the sins of the galaxy?
@AndrewNadeau0: HER: *Points to my dish* I'll have what he's having ME:*Blocks plate w/ my arms* This is mine H: No, I mea- M:*To waiter* Tell her it's mine
@UncleDuke1969: Jim: I'm totally spacing out on a word. Me: OK J: What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink? M: Linda.