@MikeDrucker: I wish I could get bitten by a radioactive confident person.
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@SaraMansford: My kid just put on an apron and made homemade brownies so forget the world, I'm not even the best mom in my house anymore.
@LagunaBeachPOV: I want a name that can only be written using straight lines, so I'll be changing my name to Wilx Kivz.
@Birdhumms: Why is it when someone asks if you've lost weight you immediately feel like eating a dozen donuts to celebrate.
@david8hughes: Wife: where's the baby? Me: up on the roof Wife: THE ROOF? Me: relax. He's got sunscreen on