@Nikkeya08: I tried playing dead to see how my 6 yr old would react... turns out if i die he'll poke me and go down stairs and eat chips...

@commuter_haiku: Watching a special about climate change. Oh, wait. This is a window.

@Sickayduh: Even the most racially sensitive person you know gets a little skeptical when the chef at a Chinese restaurant isn't Asian

@sixthformpoet: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.

@Coolisiana: (Ad for a baby) • gently used • can't even kill you • doesn't shed • poops on a learning curve • goes from 0-60 in roughly 60 years