@U_Want_Shum_M8: I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 shades of grey. Like the one where she gets a job right after college
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@Tommytoughstuff: *Pulls gun* Alright give me the money, and don't try anything stupid." *Tries to put a fork in a light socket* "Hey! What did I just say"!?
@Reverend_Scott: COP: Know why I stopped you? "Drag racing?" COP: Nope. "Speeding?" COP: Definitely not. "Cuz I'm on a unicycle?" COP: That's the one.
@Storminika: Cops got new drunk driving tests. There's one they pull out a wallet-size photo of Whoopi Goldberg & ask you, 'Is she attractive?'