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@Thynebear: "I Wish I Had Her Skin!"
- Teenage Girls & Serial Killers
@MalcInYourWife: So women draw their eyebrows on daily, and nothing is said.
I sharpie on a beard for movember and suddenly everyone has something to say.
@jjhartinger: *i before e except after c.
Unless you're an 8yo heir planning a heist to seize a surveillance sleigh owned by a sheik at a reindeer farm.
@lanyardtwerk: Oh. This is hand *Satanizer.* Well, is my face red with the blood of innocents.
@NurseSeymour: FYI fellas: if u wake up with some chick and u can't remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They'll write her name on the cup for ya!
Because who doesn't like to dream about your cat turning into your dog and your dog taking you for a walk and picking up your poop.