@prodigalsam: "I wish I had more time to read" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.
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@SatansTongue: *at a concert* ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK (Crowd) "YEAAAAH" LETS DO THIS HIT IT *30 second ad plays first*
@3sunzzz: My son turns 18 today. I bought him a set of luggage for his birthday. Too forward? Maybe it's too forward.
@therealeatwood: GURU: You have achieved the state of sakṛdāgāmin: you will reach nirvāṇa within seven lifetimes ME: [slipping him a $20] How about six