@prodigalsam: "I wish I had more time to read" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.
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@trojansauce: DATE: how about we move this to the bedroom? ME: give me one minute *i kiss all my beanie babies on the head and put them on the ground*
@WheelTod: Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one.
@Nikkeya08: I got all my coworkers condoms and bibles for Valentines Day because I'm praying they get laid
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I've never looked at a picture of someone's dinner and thought, "If only I could hear this."