@thatdutchperson: I wish I had the exciting social life my mom must have envisioned when she used to stitch my name into my underwear.
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@TheMichaelRock: According to these Father's Day gift sections, all dads are clean shaven business men that love playing golf and think they're #1.
@sixfootcandy: Oh yeah!! Well, if smoking weed destroys your short-term memory, then what does smoking weed do?
@QwertyJones3: [texting] So what's your name? "ily" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?