@thatdutchperson: I wish I had the exciting social life my mom must have envisioned when she used to stitch my name into my underwear.
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@chuuew: BOSS: Can I see you in my office? INVISIBLE-MAN: [sigh] I don't know how many more ways I can explain this to you
@Jake_Vig: Customer service stopped recording my calls for training purposes. There's nothing to be learned from that much profanity.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: My interior decorator quit on her first day on the job. I told her to paint all the walls in my house to be green screens.