@Milla_Jacobs: I wish I had trained flies that would fly into the mouths of people who chew with their mouths open
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GoldenSpirals: Apparently... Border Security does NOT think it's funny when you reply, "I'm hungry" when they ask you if you have anything to declare.
@MarlonBrandNO: [Baby trying to say first words] Baby: b..bu Me: cmon son Baby: bu..bu..s Wife: Yes sweetheart Baby: Bush did 9/11 Me[tearing up]: He knows
@Book_Krazy: Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself "I can't believe I'm recording this"