@tayandmae: I wish I was 7'9" so my BMI would be normal
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@tarashoe: if i'm bleeding out in an alley & you approach me w/an app that would save me, but i'd have to login using facebook, i'd be fine w/just dyin
@Shock_Monster: I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM.
@TheHyyyype: [arrest] ME: you've got the wrong g- COP: tell it to the judge [court] ME: your honor, that cop has the wrong glasses for his face shape
@primawesome: It's uncool to be religious. It's uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyoncé. It's the only way to be safe.