@tayandmae: I wish I was 7'9" so my BMI would be normal
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@yoyoha: If I was a marriage counselor I would just make the couple look at a dating website for 20 minutes.
@natedog2049: Fun fact: When swimming upstream, salmon can jump up as high as 6 feet. Unless its a white salmon.
@iliezabeth: [suspecting Kyle is a werewolf] ME: Ive laid out all the good silverware for us tonight K: Its chips & salsa M: Aaand? *stabs chip w/ fork*
@cjcapbt: I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn't tear away ..