@WhiteKid4Sale: Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly.

@FrauFickenDammt: Making out with the pharmacist has its percocets...

@ItsAndyRyan: Murderer: Which of the three of you to kill – it's quite the dilemma Me: Technically that's a trilemma Murderer: OK now it's easy

@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to stay in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.

@PaperWash: Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911.