@Schmoodles: I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute.
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@EndhooS: Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: "woof"
@Mike_Bianchi: Not sure if this girl I'm talking to online is real, so on our first date I'm gonna bring an image captcha for her to solve.
@KKAlThani: "How do we hide Superman's identity?" They asked. A man kicked in the door & yelled "With glasses!" & everyone started clapping for him.
@TheRealNickKay: [DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE] W: SHIT