@Schmoodles: I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@awkwardphilippe: [opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night "aw, that's neat, wait there's more" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you
@daplusk: [on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim
@Ooft_Headshot: Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.